


Already Home

by lapoesieestdanslarue



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-24
Updated: 2014-07-24
Packaged: 2018-02-10 07:25:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2016201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lapoesieestdanslarue/pseuds/lapoesieestdanslarue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Sam hasn't known Steve for long-he's known Captain America since he was knee high to a grasshoper, sure- but not Steve.</p>
<p>The same goes for Bucky. He's known who James Buchanan Barnes, the only man in the Howling Commandoes to give his life for his country, he's known the Winter solider, but not Bucky.</p>
<p>Hell, not even Bucky knows who Bucky is, not yet anyway. Memories are hazy, coming back in fragmented pieces here and there. He's in rehabilition, so he's cranky and confused and scared. He's treated like glass. He could break any second, and if (or when as some people believe) does, it sure as hell won't be pretty.</p>
<p>Yet Steve still acts like the sun shines out of his ass."</p>
<p>Or:<br/>The time Bucky remembers more than he lets on and finally confronts Steve about their relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Already Home

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so this is absolute fluff, nothing more, nothing less.

Sam hasn't known Steve for long-he's known Captain America since he was knee high to a grasshoper, sure- but not Steve.

The same goes for Bucky. He's known who James Buchanan Barnes, the only man in the Howling Commandoes to give his life for his country, he's known the Winter solider, but not Bucky.

Hell, not even Bucky knows who Bucky is, not yet anyway. Memories are hazy, coming back in fragmented pieces here and there. He's in rehabilition, so he's cranky and confused and scared. He's treated like glass. He could break any second, and if (or when as some people believe) does, it sure as hell won't be pretty.

Yet Steve still acts like the sun shines out of his ass.

Bucky goes out for days at a time, usually at the Smithsonian or maybe doing some soul-searching in Brooklyn. (Stark Industries surveillence really is something else). Steve doesn't chase him, because he has a lesser knowledge of what it's like to have to re-adapt and still keep yourself, but he still goes around making sure Bucky's wrapped up warm and that all the street lights shine on him.

And to be honest? Sam's getting kind of pissed.

He know's it's wrong, that Bucky has possibly the worlds worst PTSD case, and on a professional level he knows that for what his situation is, Bucky's really coming a long way.

But on a personal level? He's not seeing the improvment. He's seeing Steve giving Bucky the world and more, and Bucky throwing it back in his face, the glares Bucky shoots at him. He's hearing Bucky's snide remarks when Steve tries to help with a memory he's having trouble with.

He's feeling the hurt in Steve when Bucky says something horrible.

And he's got to take his hat off to Steve, becuase God, does he do a good job faking a smile, and pretending it doesn't get to him. But it has to get to him. He doesn't say it, spouts the usual crap about how happy he is that Bucky's come back. But Sam see's through it. Because you can't invest that much time and emotion into someone and not get hit by debris when they smash the bridges you're trying to build them. Sam's been there. Sam knows.

And one night, after being out all day, Bucky comes home.

And he's...Different. Sam can't put his finger on it.

Where he would usually colourfully tell Steve to go away, tonight, he's much quieter. He looks at Steve intently, almost curiously.

"You okay?" Steve asks, also noticing Bucky's off-ness.

Steve doesn't say a name, because maybe Bucky doesn't feel like being Bucky and he doesn't want to be James and he certainly doesn't want to be the Winter solider.

So he has nothing.

"...I...Don't know."

"Well, do you...Want to talk about it?"

"I saw two guys. Kissing. And holding hands. And I..."

"It's okay now," Steve says quietly. "Being queer. Well, it's called gay nowadays. Homosexual is the politically correct term, I think. I mean...You can't get married in most places, 'cept for a few places, and some people don't accept it, but most people are okay with it."

"What about...Y'know...Dames?"

"Lesbians. That's what it's called. It's okay as well. There are loads of other stuff, too. So like, if you like dames and fellas, you're a bi sexual. I dunno that much about it, it's just what Sam's told me. There's a whole Kinsey scale...to measure what you are."

"Oh," Bucky says, still looking confused.

"What is it, Buck?" Steve says, taking a chance by calling him Bucky.

"I-You lied to me," Bucky says, deadpan.

"What? When?"

"You told me I had no one special at home during the war."

"You didn't," Steve answers, getting confused.

"Yes I did. I had you."

Steve's breath catches.  
"Bucky-"

"I loved you. I wanted to tell you. But I couldn't."

"I didn't know," Steve breathes, his heart hammering in his chest.

They were both quiet, looking at each other, breathing through each other like a tree's spectacles.

"Did we ever kiss? I'm not sure if-"

"No, you're right. We did. Once. The night before you...," Steve hesitates, licking his lips and re-visiting the memory. "Fell."

"Oh...I remember," Bucky says slowly, choosing his words carefully. "My heart hurting. Because you loved someone else."

"I- I didn't. Love anyone else, I mean."

"What about..." Bucky hesitates, his brow creasing. "Peggy...?"

Steve's shoulder release their tension ever so slightly. "Peggy? No. Well- I thought about it. But um...I dunno...I guess it just didn't feel right."

"Why?"

"Because every time I thought about her," Steve bent his head and felt a flush climb up his neck to his cheeks before stopping at his ears. "I thought about someone else more."

 

"Did you love me?" Bucky whispers.

"Yes," Steve answers without missing a beat.

 

Bucky swallows. "...Do you still love me?"

Steve's head whips up from where it lay in his hands. "Jeez- Of course, Buck. I never stopped."

"...Good."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They wake in the morning, Steve drapped over Bucky's chest, the sun beaming in through the cracks in the blinds. And though Steve is awake, he doesn't open his eyes or move. Because what if when he does Bucky calls it a mistake? Or Bucky hates him for it?

Steve Rodgers lives with a lot of things on his conscious, but he doesn't think he could handle Bucky's hate.

And then- a surprising thing happens. He feels Bucky's right hand hover over him, and then slowly begin to run it through Steve's hair. 

"Punk."

"Jerk," Steve mumbles, smiling.


End file.
